I got home from sf monday night. It is now wednesday night, and i have yet to go to work. Instead of going in like a good little girl, i've been at home alone, keeping myself occupied.

Today I arose, and got to some yard work. 7 hours of yard work, weeding, chopping down small trees, buying mulch, mulching, watering the lawn, sweeping, washing the doormats and picking up 30 cartons worth of cigarette butts, removing toxic waste from the garage and loading it into frans truck. Sunburnt, I am.


I then swept and mopped the kitchen, cleaned the bathroom, put up a new shower curtain and plugged in my new UV toothbrush cleaner. Unpacked and did laundry. I have yet to put it away.

Hells yes.

I quit.

I come from work to find everyone out on the patio barbequing. I dont know how to spell barbequing.

Anyway, I silently stand there while lighting a smoke, checking out whats going on. Everyone's just relaxed drinking beers and enjoying their own conversations.

"So, does everyone realize theres a boa constrictor in the pool?" are the first words out of my mouth.

Everyone kinda just looks at me.

"Yeah he's just chillin'. It's hot out." Fran's brother responds.

"oh. ok" I reply, and head back inside.

.......I'm still confused as to the why's and how's everyone was so casual about this.......

since thursday night - 7 hours of sleep. 5 packets of oatmeal. 1 breakfest bar. 4 packs of cigarettes. half a bottle of saint johns wart.

I'm got my z's and getting some zzzzzz's.

Because i have to be up in 4 hours, and would rather rant than sleep.

Fucking horse cops man. Seriously.


So the strip downtown was barricaded off at the end of the night tonight. And three horse mounted cops patrolled the streets as the drunks staggered in and out.

Finally, around 3am, a fight broke out at the corner of Broadway and 2nd. This, This was the moment they had been waiting for.

They turned their horses around, dug their feet into the ribs of the horses, and yelled "Yahhhh yahh". They went barreling down the street, weaving in and out of groups of people, in a rather dramatic fashion. They get to where the fight was, fly off the horses and yell "STOP!". One patrolman raised his hand.

The drunks looked dumbfounded. And I as an innocent bystander, had to comment.

Seriously, are they for real? Is that amount of drama really necessary? I mean, if a bunch of cops came after me on horses, I wouldn't take them seriously. I'd be in a ball on the ground laughing. It was so totally lame. And so obviously the moment the patrolmen had been waiting for all night.

omfg horse cops man.

guess who just booked a show with dave ellefson and jimmy degraso's band.....aka half of megadeth....


oh yeah.

*craps pants*

Now 100% Wig-free. Score!

I should be:

A: Sleeping - I have to be up in 7 hours for work
B: Converting Video files for work tomorrow. If i don't do it, i wont have anything to do tomorrow. So I need to do this.
C: Fullfilling band website store orders. People are writing and getting angry.
D: Responding to the 30 myspace emails the band received since this weekend when I finally got caught up again. Most of them are people writing me back again since i never got around to answering their shit the first time
E: Organzing my pile of mail thats been accumulating since new years. I file my bills alphabetically as they come in, in a yearly box. I didnt purchase said box until today.
F: Learning how to deal with a wet chinchilla. Bluhlahauaha got out of his cage while i was in murfreesboro for a show on saturday. The little devil knocked over a glass of water on my desk, soaking my puter mouse, and himself. Chinchillas are like Gremlins in the fact that they cannot get wet. Besides him being incredibly pissed off and pouting for days, his fur matts and chunks up. I need to google how to fix such an event.
G: Picking up my bc at the pharmacy. Im such a junkie. All i do is chain smoke non stop when I dont have it.
E: Helping Dacia with a written interview she worked on earlier today.


But no. Im on LJ bitching.

adam and i walked into a mini tornado today. We saw it on Cherry street heading right for us. My reaction: fall to the ground in laughter. I still have dirt in my teeth from it. it was pretty effin cool.

im cold.

there's an owl outside....

it sounds like the sound bites they used to play in between segments on Salute Your Shorts.

shpork (7:46:57 PM): oh dear sweet baby jesus
shpork (7:47:03 PM): people keep stick bugs as pets
shpork (7:47:06 PM): *shudders*
imakeintarwebs (7:47:08 PM): O_O
shpork (7:48:12 PM): i used to look at them in my bug book as a child and thank my lucky stars that I didnt live near any
shpork (7:48:14 PM): and then
shpork (7:48:15 PM): and then
shpork (7:48:28 PM): I went to my car to go to work once here.
shpork (7:48:29 PM): and it
shpork (7:48:33 PM): it was on my window.
imakeintarwebs (7:48:39 PM): haha
shpork (7:48:40 PM): the horror, the horror.
shpork (7:48:48 PM): oh god it was awful
imakeintarwebs (7:48:50 PM): you poor thing
shpork (7:48:57 PM): I had to climb in through my passenger seat
shpork (7:49:08 PM): and sweet jesus i drove 80 mph to get it off.
shpork (7:49:11 PM): it didnt budge.
shpork (7:49:19 PM): when i got to work i made my boss go kill it
shpork (7:49:26 PM): but he didnt, he just "set it free"
imakeintarwebs (7:49:33 PM): booooooooo
shpork (7:49:58 PM): and i watched it walk down the sidewalk a good quartermile before b-lining for some shrubs
shpork (7:50:04 PM): its coming back for me.
shpork (7:50:06 PM): i know it is.
shpork (7:50:07 PM): lurking.
imakeintarwebs (7:50:12 PM): lol
imakeintarwebs (7:50:32 PM): oh man... a stick bug called asking for a list of your fears O_O
shpork (7:50:48 PM): lol
imakeintarwebs (7:51:01 PM): I was like "dude... you're a stick bug... isn't that enough?"
shpork (7:51:46 PM): dacia said the fat ones in arkansas spit acid at you
shpork (7:52:00 PM): it burned her dogs nose



ZOMGZ -- Then i found this. I'm relatively sure if one came within a 12 mile radius of me my soul would cripple and I would die.

i bought that walmart $298 special. It works. So busy. I can't wait til things slow down.

Twas at the hospital til almost 3 last night. Thai and Chelsea got in a wreck in Lawrenceburg on Monday. Chelsea had to get life-flighted up here. Which btw, costs 10k to get a helicopter ride from lawrenceburg to nashville. But shes still in the trauma unit. She awake and concious, but she has real bad internal damage. One of her kidneys got ripped in half. Shes constantly internally bleeding, and the doctors are talking about just taking her bad kidey out today. The poor girl hasnt been allowed to eat, anything, at all...she shes starving and really, really, fucking a really, has to piss. Shes pretty freakin miserable. So me and Wes have been there as much as we can trying to support them. Thai's physically fine, he's just worried as hell about Chelsea.

you know you want more...you need more.

more chinchilla media.

for those who give a flying fuck about my sweet little darling, this boring video is for you. He so sweet when he wants something.

http://www.atomicblond.net/random/craisincrazy.wmv

a pic of when i found bluhahlahalha sitting on the couch a few days ago. isnt he wonderful?

I still had 3/4 of a tank left, but when i drove past the Krogers across the street and saw no line of cars at the gas station, i sure went and topped off. Ahh yes, I'm adding to the fuel frenzy with my -3 gallon contribution to the nashville gas amounts. I waited less than 60 seconds to get to the pump, and by the time I was done pumping my three gallons, there were already 8 cars in line. I'm sure its already wrapped around the parkinglot by now.

moving + 2 jobs + band = the suck.